This essay is among a series of articulate documentation written by the highly esteemed Dr. Bernard Bail, written from the work he has performed with his patients.
This essay delves into the intricate dynamics of familial relationships and their profound impact on individual psychology. It presents a detailed case study revolving around a patient's troubled relationship with his mother, illuminated by a symbolic dream. Dr. Bail, utilizing dream analysis, uncovers the deep-seated emotional wounds and absence of maternal love that have shaped the patient's psyche. Through this exploration, he underscores the enduring process of "working through" unresolved traumas to achieve emotional closure and psychological healing.
In 2015, on Valentine’s Day, people are putting their thoughts and feelings about their mothers online.
As one can imagine, the tenor of these discussions ran the gamut from idolatry to infamy. Mothers come in all sizes, all shapes, all colors and feelings. The patient had written these comments four years ago. They are a lucid exposition of his experience. We have been dealing a great deal in his therapy about his relationship with his mother, father, and siblings. Why I am bringing this material to expression now is because we have an answer to the mother’s behavior. In this current dream the answer is given.
DREAM:
I am swimming in a pond. There is a dead carcass of an insect or animal the size of a mouse. There is a parasite crawling out of the anus, abandoning the carcass. I fling the carcass across the pond to be rid of it. My wife says that it might have been alive. I tell her that it was not and that it could have hurt one of us, so it had to be gotten rid of.
COMMENTARY:
The point of the pond dream is that the dead creature represents his mother’s embryonic feeling self.* We must postulate that on his mother’s conception, she could not stand the pain that she would have had to endure for nine months. A mother who did not love her or want her, not only in the womb, but in the world as well.
The patient remembers his grandmother was always glued to the T.V.. The T.V. always played baseball. She was “in love” with the teams of her city. Further information is the fact that the patient’s uncle committed suicide, presumably on the basis of our information. He could no longer tolerate the absence of love in his life.
Looking at this dream it explains why his mother did not respond to any of his importune gestures. It explains why she did not answer his last letter. The dream gives us happy news that he is “done” with his mother. But as in all things, I know that there will be lapses, which we in our work call “working through”.
*Coming into life with only the masculine unconscious is responsible for many psycho-pathological states, Aspergers, autism.
Copyright © Bernard W. Bail, M.D.
August 2019
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