This essay is among a series of articulate documentation written by the highly esteemed Dr. Bernard Bail, written from the work he has performed with his patients.
He presents a profound exploration of the psychological journey toward achieving a balanced self through the integration of the feminine unconscious. Through a series of dreams, he illustrates the patient's struggle to reconcile and incorporate this essential aspect of their psyche, deeply influenced by early maternal imprints. The essay underscores the complexities of personal transformation and the ongoing quest to attain psychological wholeness.
This collection of dreams followed the viewing of an experimental webcast recording of Dr Bernard Bail and Dr Loren Weiner entitled, “ A New Way to Think About Man”. The recording session put forth Dr Bail’s conception of the Maternal Imprint and its place in the development of mankind’s evolution. Some of the material that was put forth was experienced as an embellishment of that which he had previously presented, while other considerations were new and fresh, reaching into cogitations that would be clarified in the future.
DREAM 1:
“I have walked into a laundry facility which had a distinct tailoring department. I had with me, perhaps a suit, or sport jacket and a pair of pants that all seemed to require some type of alterations, (not specifically remembered upon waking). Apparently, I would need these changes made in the course of the same day to be retrieved and to be worn for some important event that same day. I made a contact with the tailor on duty, explaining the nature of the work that was required, and the temporal conditions in which the work was to be completed and retrieved by me. It seemed that the better part of a day was available for the completion of my request at the time.
The tailor, a man of Hispanic origin, articulate, dressed neatly, and quite present with me, clearly understood my request and personal needs, but was reticent to commit to my temporal requirement. He sort of hemmed and hawed about the time, saying,” what about Monday?”, and I replied, somewhat pleadingly, couldn’t you PLEASE, have it ready for tonight? He softened a bit, saying, “I don’t know, there is lunch, and this other work, and, you know, it is Saturday, etc.”
After considerable soft pleading and explaining, he says, “All right, I can have it for you by late this afternoon or evening.”
DISCUSSION:
I am wanting an alteration of my being which, (on the outside), could be accomplished via tailoring. The tailor is Hispanic, which I associate with a different culture which I am quite well acquainted with. In the main, I connect it to warm and colorful food and drink, passionate music, family togetherness and a general spectrum of overt emotions. The tailor I meet is friendly and agreeable, and knows precisely the nature of the work that I am requesting from him, (which he is quite able to accomplish), but is hesitant, for some reason) to supply. I am persistent with my temporal request, and finally win out such that he will comply and make the requested alterations on my clothes forthwith.
Of course, the above portends to my physical state, which the dream would not be about. As I am recalling the dream, I think about what was said by Dr Bail in his video commentary, and the transformation that people must make to be balanced, and that related to the embracement and inclusion of the feminine unconscious into one’s self. (the feeling self).
Accordingly, Dr. Bail simply said, “You know what you need to bring a balanced self into your being, but you, “the tailor”, are wanting to obstruct that alteration. Until the feminine unconscious is fully incorporated into the individual, along with the masculine unconscious, there can not be a balanced individual who experiences life as it is meant to be fully experienced.
DREAM 2:
“I am inside some type of home, or commercial building with several rooms on a ground floor. The facility is filled with many, many people, casually dressed, of both sexes, standing and mulling about. They may be about gathering for a party, meetings, or some type of presentations, and I do not seem to see a familiar face in the crowd. Strangely enough, I do not know why I, myself, am there, or amongst them.
Rather suddenly, I find myself having moved out of the mainstream into a smallish space, or alcove. There continues to be many people about, but this area is quieter, and less trammeled. As I stand there, an attractive unknown women hurriedly comes up to me and asked me questions about some type of alterations, which I think, again, has something to do with my clothes. She is attractive in appearance and dressed in a colorful gypsy styled dress. She too, may be from a Spanish or Middle Eastern descent.
Abruptly, she says, “lower your pants”, and something about “you want me to do this, don’t you?”, without my having the slightest idea what she is referring to, but agree to, and she starts to measure my inner thighs adjacent to my genitals. The measuring seems to be like that of checking the inner thigh from the groin to mid thigh on both sides of my pelvis. While hurrying about her ministrations she says something about an irritation on both lateral aspects of my scrotum which seems to quite astute of her. I relate to her that that was an accurate assessment, and that this condition was caused by severe itching, and subsequent nocturnal scratching due to an intolerance or sensitivity to B complex vitamins (which was true in real life). She finished with her measurement ascertainment with me, writing down and recording notes that she would need to take with her for what work she was to perform for me.”
DISCUSSION:
When I was born, I had the misfortune to come to a mother that had an atomic, (and emotional), inverted nipples. Accordingly, an artificial formula was created from Eagle condensed milk, gelatin, a vitamin mixture, and water. I have to imagine that this concoction must have tasted quite awful, which I ingested and survived, but not without, a reported continuous nine months of continuous colic and the development of an umbilical hernia. I feel quite sure that my mother, probably extended to all women, had it in mind to do something to me, rather than to do something for me.
As a result, in the course of growing up, I developed a hypersensitivity to Vitamin B Complex. This manifested itself over the course of time, and my periodic ingestion of substances containing vitamins, with episodes, (days to weeks), of nocturnal heat and itching of my groin. Initially, I would scratch at night, but found that the application of ice packs would soothe my affliction and afford me a reasonable night of rest or sleep.
In this dream, it appears that I have brought in to myself, an astute replacement woman replete with empathy and concern for my dilemma of record. Her desire, which seems to be my desire – “you want me to do this ?” would alter and repair my wariness of women, and that of the entrance of the feminine unconscious into my being.
DREAM 3:
“I am in a crowd of people out in the open air at dawn, or at sunset. There appears to be many adults of mixed sexes present, but I am focused on the women, who seem to be dressed in capes or cloaks. The setting is more or less monotone, but shades of whites to grays predominate. For some reason all of the woman are reaching out and wanting someone or something to connect with. It appears that only an oppositional external hand or body can fulfill their requirements. Perhaps, it is some variant of intercourse, where they are holding with both hands, trays, or containers, and are needing something put on to them or filling them via an external arm or hand. I find myself in the crowd, the only person reaching out and actively satisfying their strivings. It appears that one searching woman after another comes up to me for assistance where upon I move about and find for her what precisely fills her need.”
DISCUSSION:
Given the two prior dreams, and my l) reluctance to incorporate the feminine unconscious into my being, 2) accept the feminine to effectively remedy my plight, originating from my mother’s abhorrence to properly tend to me, her infant son, 3) it appears that a repair has taken place, where I want to repay the feminine for her ministrations, and appropriately adjoin her such that her own needs can be, in like kind, be satisfied.
Perhaps, this is the real understanding of “ Love, Hate, and Reparation”. I loved my mother, she hated that (me) which she did not want in her life to take care of, and I, with great psychoanalytic help, repaired my self protective alienation from the feminine unconscious.
On the evening prior to this dream, I was preoccupied with my excitement about helping Dr Bail move his work into the realm of the internet, where it won’t be blocked by the oppositional forces of the current psychoanalytic/ psychiatric paradigm. Concurrently, I was fascinated by the last two episodes of “Mozart In The Jungle”, staring Lola Kirke as an oboist, and Gael Garcia Bernal, as a conductor. In short, in the course of the series, the conductor sacrifices his conducting position to facilitate his lover’s move from being an oboe player of note secondary to her Paternal/ Maternal Imprint) to being a conductor of great merit. Indeed, it was as though these episodes choreographed the express intent and total thrust of Dr Bail’s movie, “ And Now, Love”. Indeed, the woman is invited and facilitated into being at the table (of parity). While the lay public might be taken up with the series delightful and comedic thrust, it unconsciously announces a momentous happenstance. Man, has lovingly, engineered women to come to the table, and so the music begins.
DREAM 4:
“I am in the Italian country side beyond Orvieto and Florence. I seem to be with a group of unknown people on verdant farmlands, and we are gathered about a rustic shed or farm house. I enter the kitchen with an unknown attractive woman, perhaps dressed in colorful farm land garb, and move to a wooden table in the center of the room. Upon a flour dusted table in the middle of the room sit several empty pie tins, and wheat dough kneadings. Somehow, the woman and myself set about making dark purple boysenberry or blueberry, or mixed berry pies. We may alternate back and forth as to holding the crusted tins or the pouring the royal colored purple material into them, but there is a smooth partnership between the two of us in the creative process.”
For some reason, not apparent in this pastoral environs, I feel a strange anxiety and worry, as though there is something sinister in the air. I interpret it as a force that doesn’t want the pies to make their way into the world. There would appear nothing obvious to account for its presence, but the presence of my anxiety diminishes my enjoyment for our joint creative accomplishment. For some reason, I get the sense that what the two of us are doing is a prelude to going commercial with the production of these prototypical samples. In the future, the same, or similar pies will be available to everyone in the world.
Unexpectedly, from a well worn dirt path, a solitary man arrives at the house, carrying on his arms and shoulders many strands of dark blue berries of some type unknown to me.
I believe that he is eating them and exclaiming that they are unusual in taste and quite delicious. He freely offers some for me to eat, which I do, and he is accurate in that they do taste heavenly, like Santa Rosa plums, or giant boysenberries do, when fresh off of the tree or vine. Not able to resist his offer for me to help myself to more, I freely accept the opportunity and eat several more, noticing that as I do, my hands are deeply stained a royal blue/purple from the juice of this wondrous fruit.”
DISCUSSION:
It would appear in the dream, that I am either identified with Dr. Bail and his course of development, making his way to encompassing the feminine unconscious and joining the masculine unconscious in a co-creative mentation, or have accomplished something similar for myself. For me, it would mean elevating and inviting the feminine unconscious into joining my own masculine unconscious, such that an unbroken ongoing co-creative life stream might ensue. My anxiety in the dream would indicate that I am very fearful that my internal saboteur will prevail over my agenda, and render or oppose such a co-creative transformation to take place within me. Of note, the dark blue/purple, or “royal” stain is that of spirit, which is omnipresent, and available when unopposed desire for it manifests itself. In the series, the conductor says to the audience, “You have to play with blood – you have to live with blood!!”
COMMENTARY:
This commentary encompasses these four dreams. Let me begin by stating that analysts as a breed are very skeptical people. They know too well how weak the human spirit is; indeed their work is to bolster that weakness by getting to the root of it. By doing this, the patient is able to come into the full potential of his/her being. The root of the weakness is always the patient’s imprint, which he or she has not known about and not knowing about is specifically unable to fight the deleterious effects on his or her life.
We know this patient’s imprint, which is to have no life, and to have no enjoyment from it. He has been successful in following the commands of his imprint, and has not enjoyed or taken pleasure from his life. In addition, he has split and projected parts of his mind onto his wife, children, and others. He understands all of this academically. He understands that to be a balanced person, there’s got to be evidence of the masculine unconscious and the feminine unconscious. He has arrived at this point of knowing it very well.
When we examine the first dream, we find he wanted his suit altered, but it is a masculine suit, a man suit. So, we are led to believe that he is suiting up to be a partner with his feminine unconscious. At least we hope so.
In the second dream, we see that a woman is asking “Do you want to really do this?” She is crouching at the level of his groin, and is taking measurements, but we do not know what she means by her question, and we do not know to what use her measurements will be put, and the patient is unable to answer the question.
In the third dream, there are many men and women, and the women seem to be reaching out. He is the only man to connect with their reaching out. What does this mean? Reaching out is asking for help and he is saying he is the only man satisfying their request. But that is nothing new to him. In real life, he is a generous, kind person. It does not say that he is in possession of his feminine unconscious. It says that women are importuning him. And this is a version of his mother as a premature infant, importuning him to save her.
In the fourth dream, he is in Italy. That’s a good sign. He is allowing himself to have the pleasure of travel with his family. He is working with a woman, making pies. So far so good. We don’t know when this association began, nor how long it will last. We will see. The man who comes into the scene with berries of an unknown origin is me. The berries represent my discovery of there being an imprint for each and everyone of us in the world. And I can verify that “he has eaten” of my “berries.”
So, at the end of our examination of these four dreams, we are striving towards the acquisition of a feminine unconscious. But the trouble is, you don’t acquire it by something you buy in the store. You have to switch on the part of you that is the feminine unconscious. It remains to be seen.
Copyright © Bernard W. Bail, M.D.
August 2019
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